I have probably written part of this before in another post…maybe multiple times. But today again, this is stirring in my soul, along with other things. So I’m going to sit down and just write…
I have a lot of mom friends–as in, friends who are moms. Right now, in this post, I’m thinking of moms with young kids. I have friends who have two little kids. I have friends who have seven little kids. Some of them homeschool these seven kids. Others don’t.
I am talking to all of us today…those with one baby and those with three babies and two toddlers. Makes no difference. All of us are on my heart…
Today I want to free you.
There is a lot of guilt going on. I cringe every time I see it again. Hear it. Watch it.
I’m a mom, and I’m normal. If I am on social media at all, or even if I’m not, but I go to church…I very quickly pick up the “good mom” stuff. I watch my friend take her kids to the park every couple weeks. I do well to get mine to church every Sunday. HOW does she do it? Another mom keeps her house immaculate and takes cleaning jobs on the side. I wait until my bathroom is driving me insane. Then I growl at the world and scrub it. I hate cleaning! I don’t preserve food, unless you count the sauerkraut. My homeschooling process is not something I advertise.
There is a lot of guilt out there.
A lot of pressure that we put on ourselves.
A lot of feeling like we need to do better. Always.
Today I want to free you.
It’s fine to put your happy pictures on facebook. You don’t need to feel guilty that you aren’t carefully documenting the worst times as well.
It’s good to take an hour off every afternoon if that is what you need. You are important. Put that movie on for the kids. Make a pot of tea. Do whatever rests your soul and body.
(I need more than one hour. Ha!)
Social media and watching a movie or show is just fine. In this day and age, it’s a great way for a housebound mom to “get out a bit” and see what’s happening outside of her special world. That special world can close in on us. It can be a breath of fresh air to see what your single friend in California is up to! A TV show can give you a break from being a mom for just an hour, and it can also open your eyes to more of the world.
I’m going to elaborate a bit more on this.
There is a LOT of guilting about this. Trust me on it. A lot. Every January 1st, there are all manner of new year’s resolutions about digital media and social sites. “This year, I am going to spend more time with my children and less time on facebook!” “I am going to limit screen time for myself and my kids to one hour a week!” And it goes on…and on.
I have a facebook friend who simply posted something like this: Going off facebook…bye for now.
That’s really all we need to know! We know why she is missing, and we’re fine with that. No guilting. No explaining. Just lettin’ us know why we won’t be seeing her. I salute her.
I also salute every lovely mother who makes a resolution to spend more time with her kids or on her housework, and less time on the computer/phone. Cool! I love that!
But that is for you. That is what you need. Thus, it is awesome that you are doing it!
Each of us knows what is going on in our own life. I believe that we know what we need. We know when we are going overboard. We know when we need to change something. God shows us. He is very faithful always!
It can be helpful to read these articles, blog posts, facebook posts, books, etc., on how to become more engaged in our childrens’ lives. It can be good to read a warning. The other day I read about how kids are changing because of parents who are hooked to their phone. I’m not going to argue that we should never read or write warnings.
But this blog post is not that. There’s more of that out there than we can begin to take in.
This blog post is to set you free.
The article you just read about how all this digital stuff is ruining kids’ brains and relationships…
Let it go. YOU know how you are doing. God brings gentle words to us to better our lives. He does not pile on guilt. That isn’t from Him.
Moms, I want to tell you something:
You are doing well. What you are doing is hard. The crazy you live in every day? It would take down about any man out there. (Shhh, don’t tell them I said that.)
We love what we do. We are living our dreams!
But that doesn’t take away the crazy. The hard. The I am going to disappear under this pile of work…help! The…I can’t take one more kid yelling, “mooo-000m!”
Here is a bit of what’s happening for me.
I realized through a novel I’m reading right now, something that has become a problem in my own life. (‘Member? God brings gentle change…) It just kinda’ grew on me.
I am running from my big three kids. The babies I can do. I can sit and snuggle them for an hour! But the big three with their issues and energy and needs? I turn tail and run. They are kinda’ growing up on their own. Not really. But in a way. In my own way, I stay away. I train them. I feed them. I teach them. But I’m quite sure I do not have the emotional energy to really engage their hearts. To get into all three of their lives in a very intimate way. To pull out everything awesome that lurks in who they are. To really hear what they are saying…all day long.
But God said, “I gave them to you. Three in the space of two years. I have what you need. You have what you need!”
Ah. Okay. 🙂
I have some work to do. Heart work. But it’s okay! I’m excited! There is no guilt. No bearing of a heavy load. There is simply gratefulness to God for showing me this. And that He is going to take my hand and walk me through it.
You got this moms!